I Should Really Be Doing My Physics Homework

but this is way more fun, and I just had to throw in a random observation. I just commented on the blog of my good friend Seven (sorry about my snoot in Spanish class, by the way) and I noticed that I had to enter a random series of letters to prove that I was human and not some creepy electronic staulker. It made me wonder if it also served as an intelligence barrier: "If you are smart enough to figure this out, then you can post a comment." You know what I always say about the revolving doors at the aeroport: if you're smart enough to make it through without getting your rolling luggage jammed in the mechanism, then they'll let you on the 'plane. Otherwise they might end up with passengers who try to chin themselves on the overhead luggage racks and race up and down the aisles in slow motion humming the theme song from Chariots of Fire. What a thought...

Presidential Elections et al.

With a nod to The Oregonian's "The Edge" (great section; too bad it only runs on weekdays), I have come up with seven alternatives to the whole electoral college/popular vote deal.

1. The winner of the Pillsbury Bake-Off takes all.
2. The first person to marathon-read all seven Harry Potter books and answer a 30-question quiz is the winner.
3. Text-messaging competition.
4. Coast-to-coast electric scooter race.
5. The manager of the best Fantasy NFL team wins.
6. Each candidate is given $50 in quarters and a slot machine. The last person to run out of money wins.
7. "There he goes, Mr/Ms President ..." Beauty pageant - one candidate from each state. Divisions include formal wear, musical talent, and barrel racing.

Please excuse the blatant flipping back and forth between complete sentences and partial sentences. Completely unintentional.

The Joys of GERD

Some of you know that I have had to sleep sitting up for the past two months. (Yes, it is as uncomfortable as it sounds.) Fortunately, it appears that those days might be over. I was just told last week that I (a) have GERD and (b) need to worry less. When my mum told me that I worry too much, I kind of blew it off; when my math & science teacher told me this, I started to wonder; when my piano teacher, 'cello teacher, and nurse practitioner told me, well, let's just say that some lifestyle changes will be made. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. If there are any suggestions out there, please make them ahora mismo.
As a part of this, a violin-playing friend and I went to an assisted living centre yesterday afternoon and played hymns for some of the residents. We went because a church member was there, but as soon as the receptionist saw us come in, she started gathering residents for an audience. We ended up playing for about fifteen people. It was way cool. I hadn't meant for it to be a stress reliever, but it turned out to be just that. I mean, we have Women's Ministries, Children's Ministries, Youth Ministries, and Prison Ministries, but what about Assisted Living Care Ministries? (Or Nursing Home Ministries, whatever the difference is.) So anyway, we were very inspired and will try to make it a monthly thing. Personally, I can't think of a better way to spend a rainy Sabbath afternoon. (Trying to nap sitting up doesn't even make the list.)

Top Six Signs That You Should Get Out More (Cellists' Edition)

1. Your 'cello has a name.
2. You talk to your 'cello (extra points if s/he talks back).
3. Your career as a hand model has no hope of being revived. (One word: calluses. Especially on your thumb. Thumbs of steel, unite! You have nothing to lose but your pain.)
4. Upon finally leaving the practise room and encountering a fellow human, the first topic of conversation to enter your mind is the recent class-action lawsuit against British Airways. (This actually happened to me.)
5. You think that you can play better than the guy on the radio.
6. You don't feel comfortable without seventeen pounds of wood, glue, and fibreglass on your back.

(And yes, "practise" and "fibreglass" are spelled correctly. I use British spellings.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to Giotto.

Theme Song, Please

To be honest, I am not a fan of proms. My school doesn't have one, and I don't dance anyhow, so I have been spared the contagion of "Oh hey, let's go dance in four-inch heels and see how long it is before we twist our ankles." I was recently looking through a bunch of prom catalogs and was surprised to see how many of the themes were variations on the theme of "All You Need is Love", thank you, Beatles. I just kind of sat there and was like, "Wow, how many weeks after prom will these couples be broken up and pretending that the other person doesn't exist?" In the spirit of the thing, I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of prom themes and their little-known subtitles.

I Hope You Dance (I Hope You Can Dance So I Don't Have to Lead)
Hearts on Fire (Maybe That's Why We're Getting Funny Looks)
Whispers of Forever (Hmm, When Did I Last Brush My Teeth?)
Gateway to Destiny (Too Bad It's Locked)
A Heavenly Night (It Won't Seem That Way During Your 6 AM Shift)
Paradise Awaits (In California, So Why Are You Still Here?)
A Night on the Town (You're Paying, Right?)
Moonlight Serenade (Has Anyone Ever Told You You Can't Sing?)
Under the Stars (Waaay Under [Featuring Vinny & the Moles])
Let the Music Begin (So I Don't Have to Rack My Brain for Things to Say to You)
Always & Forever (These High-Heels Will Be Stuck on My Feet)

I had a few more, but I thought this was enough for now.

And no, I am not bitter over a terrible prom experience involving chewing gum, Superglue, and a pair of stiletto heels. I just think that high school functions should be taken with a grain of salt.

Konnichewa!

Okay, I know I said I would remain low-tech no matter what. I'd like to reaffirm that I have no plans to get a cell 'phone or a MySpace page.
You didn't know I worked in construction, did you? :-)